Why this and Why now?

Because NOW is the only time we have.

It’s time, for me, to begin something new.

For many years I’ve considered myself a writer, I write (sometimes) professionally, have a shit ton to say and due to this, have a way with words. I write a monthly newsletter for my nature business and love being able to express myself, my inner process and tell about my life through words. Yet a newsletter is meant to be short, sweet and to the point, and I don’t always have the space to say it all.

Yet now I can. Perhaps this Substack will find readers who love to read, not just skim. Those that take the time to read others’ thoughts, like I do on this site, and get something out of it that gives them a different way of thinking, fresh inspiration and perhaps challenges them to live a bit more- whatever that looks like.

I turned 51 a month ago. 51. That’s a bigger number and has a meaning to it. I’ve lived a good part of my life already, collected experiences, felt deeply, done many things and have some things to say about life. Actually many, hence this blog

Am I where I thought I would be at 51? Depends on what version of myself I ask. Child- check. Husband- check. First and only marriage- check. Living in a country other than my homeland- check. Bilingual-check. Deep and loving friendships- check. Traveled far and wide- check. Living in a garden paradise- not even close. Successful career- still trying to figure out what that means. Published a book - (deep, demonic laugh) NO.

So there’s a lot that still needs attention in my life, goals that I still want to pursue and dreams that have yet to come to fruition. And I love that. I had this vague idea from childhood that when I hit 50 I would have it all figured out and would be happily living the life of my dreams (published author, talk show hostess (like the old Oprah), self-built off the grid home on a good chunk of land probably in Hawaii or somewhere like that, money rolling in from all sides and a life of ease and comfort).

My life is far from that, but I’m not complaining one bit. Through a series of choices I’ve landed where I’m at now (some super conscious, most unconsciously made)- in a small apartment in Munich, Germany, with my German husband (a former yoga student- yes, I went THERE) and my absolutely amazing 11 year old daughter. I live in on of the most beautiful places in the world (I do believe) full of forests, mountains and lakes that have captured my heart and definitely changed my life (I’m from hot Texas, this is a dream come true- NO AC needed!!).

I’m a full-time Mom, making lunches daily, washing clothes (but rarely ironing), mopping the kitchen floor (no household help here), helping with homework, cooking a ton, playing lots of board games and being very domestic because I know that is actually what creates a stable home and a child who feels safe.

I am also self-employed, run a business where I lead personal development seminars in nature, lead sweatlodges, work with teenagers on getting their lives started, teach English, cook at retreats, teach yoga, write (but not enough) and put energy and time into my still very active social life.

I used to party really really hard, and still indulge at times, but I see how much of a toll it takes on my body (mainly sleep) and so I’ve learned to have fun without drinking or drugs. There will definitely be an article (or several) dedicated to this topic.

I’m a post-menopausal woman with something to say. For basically all of my life, women over 50 got 0 air time- they become “ugly”, invisible and society is done with. them. I mean once you can’t make babies anymore, what’s the use? Our purpose has been fulfilled. I, however, REFUSE to believe that. I think there is much more to a life beyond simply bearing children.

And so this platform is dedicated to the musings of what it means to be past your prime and still very functional. We’re never too old to dream or to try new things. I want to use my writing as a way to make you laugh, inspire you, give you space to question yourself and your dreams and to positively push you in a direction that may scare the shit out of you. I seek out things like this, so I might as well create it.

If you’re curious to read more, please subscribe. I’m not here to sell anything, I’m just here to write and to speak from my heart and my truth, tell some fun stories about my travels and what I’ve learned along the way and touch your heart in a tiny way. This is like chatting around the campfire.

Pass this on to a friend over 50 (hell, younger works too) and let’s get this party started!

How often will I write? This remains to be seen. I’d love to say twice per month but I’m old enough to know that I can’t always hold promises such as these.